For somebody who likes to think themselves smart, I sure can take a while to learn certain lessons. This lesson is one that I’ve known for a while on one level and yet on another am only really starting to comprehend. At least, in this aspect of my life. The lesson I’m referring to relates to self worth and as cryptically alluded to in the heading, today’s discussion will focus on two areas where it can have a real impact: love and money.

When it comes to money, a great illustration of self worth is the two different types of millionaires, those who create and those who receive. A bit of research will reveal just how often people come into money only to lose it just as quickly. Whether they inherit millions by actual inheritance or through winning the lotto, if the person doesn’t have an appreciation for the value of money and doesn’t have a core belief that they are worthy of it, they’re more likely than not to spend it on frivolous things or to give it away. Contrast this with the individual who build their net worth. No matter how many times they may go bankrupt, they retain the skills to recreate the money and succeed in the end. For them, there is a core belief that they are not only capable of creating but also of retaining the money.

The same lesson applies not only to relationships with other objects, but also with people. This could be any relationship from a friendship to a relationship with a family member to an intimate relationship with a partner. The thing I’ve started to realise however is that what you seek as your perceived equal and what you seek as your self-worth defined equal are often two very different things. Ultimately, if you don’t believe deep down that you are worth somebody’s time, love or affection, you’ll seek people that play into that story and feed your ego that belief. After all, how, in that state can you expect somebody to love you if you spend every moment alone belittling yourself and conditioning yourself into believing that you are not worthy of their love? Even if they did want to give you their time and affection, odds are that you would find a way to displace or deflect it in the same way as the instant millionaire could not accept or retain money.

And that’s where today’s lesson comes into play. No matter who you are, no matter what the context, you are worthy of love. You are worthy of the time and affection of another. You are worthy of success and happiness. Most of all, you are worthy of your own love, time and affection. If you are not kind to you, you will continue to feed the insecure ego in a self-perpetuating cycle and never find the success, happiness, love or affection that you deep down desire and truly deserve.

So next time you find yourself blowing money or in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t give you what you really want and what your higher self knows it deserves, ask yourself what story your ego is feeding you and whether it’s time to rewrite the chapter.